My Family & Other 'Monsters'



This is my story of British domestic honour based violence now gone international. 

I am Yasmin Choudhury.  I am a social entrepreneur.  I live in London and am British. 

I am the founder of Lovedesh (social business/enterprise) and Amcariza Foundationa British charity. The former is launching the #LTTTW campaign  which will showcase my heritage nation of Bangladesh and other nations in August 2015 at a top prestigious venue in London.  Both are designed to make the rest of the world fall in love with 'Third World' nations and to buy from the artisans out there - so that more pennies can be put into the pockets of local people. 




I created this new vision and concept to honour the legacy left by my beloved father al-Haj Abdul Muquith Choudhury.  And to help empower impoverished folks and women in Bangladesh that I have been working with since 2012. But all this has temporarily stopped. Halted.  Ruined by horrid people in my family who I can and will no longer hide from the public eye.  

I have returned to London on 31 May 2015 from Bangladesh having witnessed and found evidence of how my estranged British-born and educated blood family consisting of my own mother, eldest sister, brother and brother in law along with a local man (whose origin is from Ronkeli, Gopaganj and Ali Nagor, Beani Bazaar Sylhet, Bangladesh) went on a wild rampage from April 2014. British citizens had the audacity to fly out on a secret mission to destroy all my philanthropic and charity projects out in Bangladesh. Even though my brands are aimed at putting pennies into the pockets of local people, they chose to wilfully destroy the work I did out there.  This includes the looting and destruction of my humble research base on my late father's estate in the City of Sylhet. They did not just once but twice.  The last time being on my birthday, 26 May 2015 while I was in a remote village in Bangladesh launching my projects to local media and rural villagers. 

Then on 29 May 2015 on the most holy day of the week for Muslims - Friday - this same group of family collectively went to my ancestral village and dismantled all the signs attached to my little fields where I was planning to undertake vegetable field trials for the third year running.  

The irony is the AMC in Amcariza Foundation stands for my late father's initials. And Ariza is the name of my paternal grandmother - a strong woman of 15 kids (8 sons and 5 daughters) who struggled alone having been made a widow at a young age. Yet my British Bangladesh family thought it wise to tear down their own father's and grandmother's names. 


Photo above: Since May 26 2015 Shamim Ahmed owner of an IT training centre has seized the premises I had used for over a year with the help of my own family who kicked me and my Amcariza charity off my late father's land.

Photo shows: My Amcariza Research Foundation Research Office entrance since February 2014 -  now trashed, looted and shut down by my British family and local men Jahangir Alam Choudhury (Jabed) & Shamim Ahmed.

Financials Rights For Muslim Women 
This is what I now want.  I want the world to start to talk about the violation of  Muslim women's female rights. Of honour abuse done by British Bangladesh families like mine leading double lives.  I hope the UN, which works to outlaw VAWG (Violence Against Women And Girls) and Boris Johnson, Mayor of London will start to support me.  


British Muslim women like me, who dare to speak out or question our elders or the men in our family are forced to suffer horrendous honour abuse.  Delivered by the hands of my modern British Bangladesh family, who by day are professionals spanning numerous business, education, creative and legal sectors. Yet behind closed doors it is a different story - as they practice what I call are the dark arts of patrilineal inheritance and honour abuse.  

What does this patrilineal inheritance mean? In essence all assets. money and land belonging to a father - are to be owned and controlled only by his male relatives.  This is not Islamic as in the Quran depending on your blood ties as a woman (e.g sisters, daughters, wives) you are guaranteed a portion of a man's wealth.  Yet many pious 'Muslim' families in Bangladesh will deny and ignore this.  If you dare ask for your inheritance, irrespective of the fact that my own brother has been controlling all of it as a woman you are called 'greedy'.  If as a woman like me, you dare to be different or question and challenge the rules enshrined and controlled by the male gender - then you are abandoned, isolated, sneered and verbally/physically attacked. Or - as in my case - our business looted and destroyed.  

All these projects of mine that have been destroyed are designed to do good in Bangladesh under these names are now temporarily halted. My volunteers have resigned.  Local people I know intimidated and threatened.  And I have no office base left.  The local police I suspect feel helpless as my family is 'elite' (in fact they are backward) and wealthy and have contacts who are long term residents in Sylhet Bangladesh. 

My father always said the 'pen is mightier than the sword'.  For now, not only for me but for every impoverished and subjugated woman in the world - I can and will spill the beans.  I can write.  So despite all the illegal, cowardly, secret means my family uses, I will flourish and make my vision and dream for the developing world - the 'Third World' a success.  

The AMC Petition
So what can you do to help me? Sign the petition I have started. 

I have never even been given my rightful and due inheritance in Bangladesh (because my mother and brother have stolen it all - to ensure only he gets it).  I have been kicked off my late father's estate and my little basic research office looted and shut down by their own hands.   It is currently rented to another party who has been in cahoots with them to destroy my projects. All done as a means to stop my journey as a social entrepreneur who has founded Lovedesh and Amcariza Foundation.   The Bangladesh police are valiantly trying to help me but as this was done by family on joint estate it is hard. But still they tell me not to give up they will try.  

My family want to prevent me from using and taking share of my late father's estate in Bangladesh - which they left neglected for 11 years. In my community/society only men are allowed to handle their late father's estate - even though in Islam this is not allowed.   This is why I launched The AMC Petition.  Please sign and share it - now. 

I know that because I dared to kickstart this petition and I refuse to heel to men in my family - I am now facing retribution.  My family wish to teach me a lesson.  And to stop me from speaking out.  You see I discovered my family were hiding evidence that showed my late father (he died in 2004) wanted his estate in Bangladesh to benefit charity. I know because here are documents that show his written desires in 2007 and in 2003.   Despite repeated calls to my mother and brother to action his repeated wishes, they wilfully did not.  In 2012, I decided to fulfil my father's philanthropic legacy.   

What is HBV?
All my life I have suffered domestic violence (DV). At the hands of my very 'Muslim' family. In my family's eyes I am deemed shameful and am being accused of bringing dishonour upon them.  Why? Because I do not follow their path of greed, their rules, temperament and strict, orthodox way of life. I mix with the very destitute and impoverished whom they steer clear of.  I dress modern and take selfies to which they object.  I am independent and a empowered woman and since the age of 30 I have always preferred to follow my own heart and own mind.  For the past three years - since I woke up from their backward ways having discovered my only my brother had cheated me out of my own inheritance - I have been attempting to forge my own life separate to theirs. 

But it was only last year when I understood that the type of physical, psychological, mental and emotional violence I was, and am being subjected to is called honour based violence (HBV). A collective form of punishment by a family with the support of a closed ghettoised community where even if the law is broken, or any lies, theft, abuse, control, slander, misconduct, or illegal action is undertaken upon me -  this is deemed to be acceptable as all these are a means to 'correct' and stop me from being who I am and pursuing the personal and business life that I want. 

This link on the NHS website about HBV explains it all very well what is honour based violence.

What HBV have I experienced or seen?

  • My entire business projects in Bangladesh recently trashed and closed down by a group of my family led mainly by British Bangladeshi man Nazmul Hassan Choudhury (Mintoo) along with local crook Jahangir Alam Choudhury. With full support from Nazmin Choudhury (Parvin) a British solicitor and owner of NC Law in London SW18,  Enamul Haque Choudhury and my mother Rushon Ara Muquith Choudhury working internationally from London to Bangladesh. Silently supporting and turning a blind eye to the honour abuse is Jasmin Choudhury a LSE alumni and deputy head teacher at Mulgrave Primary School as well as Nazrin Choudhury, a scriptwriter in Los Angeles for Hollywood. 
  • All my charity projects have been halted because of their actions. My volunteers resigned.  My Amcariza charity research base destroyed.  These incidents are now in the hands of the Bangladesh police who are handling this matter. Alas they themselves are unable to come to terms with HBV.     
  • Being chucked out of family estates both in UK and Bangladesh.
  • Lies and slander being spread about me in order for my family to get help to trash my projects and to prevent me from accessing my rightful inheritance. Both in the UK and Bangladesh. 
  • Being told that as a woman I have no right to my Islamic inheritance. My muslim family still practice old archaic tribal customs that is a fusion of Hinduism and British colonial law.  
  • Financially controlled and subjugated by my younger and only brother. 
  • My inheritance stolen from me by this same brother with the knowledge and support of my extended family in UK and Bangladesh who number around 30-50.  
  • Physically punched, kicked and slapped by my own twin sister for questioning her on why my eldest sister excommunicated me..
  • Called names such as 'prostitute', 'tart', 'slut' for choosing to train as a professional actress as well as for having a relationship with a white man despite being aged 30. 
  • Excluded and isolated by my community for choosing to be with this white man at the age of 30.  Even though he converted to Islam - he was not accepted nor welcomed by any member of my family. He and I have since split up and he has no part in my life anymore. 
  • My eldest sister repeatedly slapping my impoverished Bangladeshi niece on her face. This niece has suffered domestic violence all her life. She has special needs, epilepsy and lives in a rural village in Bangladesh for having a personal relationship and being cruel to her mother. My sister told me this is the 'only language' to help discipline such women. In August 2014 my eldest sister along with many of my female cousins undertook a session of psychological taunts and slut shaming the same niece who had been returned to her parents and divorced by her husbands of a few weeks.  My eldest sister and my female cousins blamed her for becoming unduly divorced. 
  • My brother in law Enamul Haque Choudhury screaming abuse at me in 2012 in Bangladesh - because he gets upset and is unable to curb his lifelong anger.  These male relatives (he is not the first) are allowed to 'let off steam' by my family and given full licence to do so when they are unable to express themselves in a civilised manner. We women are told to bear it. Another cousin recently told me his 'blood boiled' - all because I discussed Islamic inheritance with him.
  • The circle of abuse has already started to stem into the third generation with my own niece and nephews - having been witness to and taught honour based abuse - now inflict the same on me by sending me a letter slurring my character and accusing me of ruining their potential marriage proposals - (yes these are British Bangladeshi youths).  They also wrote to defend their mother's action of physical violence - of slapping my impoverished niece.
I was taught that men are to be deferred to in all matters.  That women are chattels who are transferred upon marriage to their husband's house and that by yielding assets and ands to be controlled by a brother, is deemed to be a good loving daughter and sister. Of course no such thing exists in Islam. This is a fabrication designed by patriarchy in my family - to ensure that women do not come in to break up land or estate.  

This has to stop. These people need to be flushed out as they walk amongst us in British society holding jobs.  They cannot pretend to be British then apply Bangladesh rituals behind closed doors.  It is obscene.  It is why I plan to take action by sharing and talking about it. Making a stand. Peacefully and within the law. 

My heart wants to weep - but somehow my eyes do not.  I recently watched the movie Gulab Gang where two rural indian female activists in the film tell a crying abandoned wife thrown out of her husband's home for not paying them the dowry 'go stand in a field for at least your tears will water the crops.'  What good will tears do me? I am not interested in crying. I am interested in getting justice. 

Society needs rescuing from monsters who are horrid to women. 


Who are my family and these other monsters?

These are my family members who I am exposing on the holiest night of Shab - E - Bharat - a Islamic event.   


RINGLEADER 
Nazmul Hassan Choudhury (Mintoo)
Ringleader is what people in Bangladesh are calling 'snake in the grass' Nazmul Hassan Choudhury (Mintoo) my disgraceful lying, cheating brother.  He is a British born citizen. He is also MBA educated but has stolen my inheritance.  As well as failed to honour my late father's legacy.  

In public he shows he is kind and pious as a Muslim man. He wears a beard and is seen to pray Namaz.  But in private he has launched a sustain campaign of hate, name calling, honour based physical and mental violence and cheating. As well as taking control of key assets. He is married to Rima Rouf - ex- producer at the BBC. She is aware of all that he is doing and is tacitly supporting her husband - again she is also from a backward Sylheti family of women who are ruled by men and were left impoverished and stripped of their own late father's assets.  Yet women like Rima deem it appropriate to marry a man then to help collaborate in honour abuse against women in her husband's families. 

Nazmul is supported by an entire army of British Bangladesh relatives across UK and Bangladesh who turn a blind eye.  


Nazmin Choudhury - eldest sister
This is my eldest sister Nazmin (Parvin).  She works as a British solicitor at her own firm in London called NC Law.  In April 2015, without any notice to me she flew into Bangladesh and with the aid of my mother, brother and a local man Jabed (see below) - they all conspired to smash the padlocks on my Amcariza Foundation research office (a basic room with a fan). They looted all items and then refused to hand them back. She then left for the UK.  I flew out to Bangladesh.  After I had legally obtained keys to the office by being escorted by the police) they then smashed into my office again for the second time. It was looted again but this time they went and rented out the space/room I had been using to this third party. My family did this on my birthday 26 May 2015 - while I was in my late father's remote village North Ali Nagor, Sylhet launching Amcariza and Lovedesh and feeding poor people.  Nazmin has also written on her NC Law letterhead to Bangladesh Police stating I am 'mentally ill'.  And has told people in Bangladesh that she threatens to 'break my hips' which a scared witness told me.

I have already reported Nazmin to the Solicitors Regulation Authority for misconduct and fraud. I have no idea if the SRA have any jurisdiction on how one of their solicitors ought to behave when abroad.  But Nazmin's actions in my opinion are borne out of spite, malice, envy and deep unhappiness. What is so screwed up is after doing all this she sends me a letter dated 27 May telling me 'we all love you' but then issuing me threats of defamation lawsuits. Please my dear sister - bring it on :) 

I will expose more about him in my podcast MsYiY. And how he financially controlled me and kept hidden that my late father had left a multi-million pound estate spanning London and Bangladesh. 


Enamul Haque Choudhury
This odious man Enamul Haque Choudhury is married to my eldest sister who has been supporting him financially all his life.  Enam is my first cousin - the son of my father's own brother Abdul Khalique Choudhury who was a great philanthropist in the 1950s before he died.  Before my own father died he repeatedly warned me that this man Enam had married into my family for wealth. My father wrote to warn me.   I have my father's letter to me which I found a few months ago.  After he married my sister, my father helped Enam by funding his business Nirmitee only to find Enam booted him out.  Enam has reneged on promises to my father who had supported him financially almost all his life.  He is now part of Paragon Property Bangladesh Sylhet.  

Enam lied to a male cousin of mine by stating he was arriving to revolve this family issue. Instead he joined forces with all the people shown in this blog post to smash my office locks on 26 May. Yet during his recent time in Bangladesh he attempted to show he was philanthropic by being photographed undertaking charity projects.  He never did sit down to a meeting and has since flown back to London. 





Jahangir Alam Chowdhury
(Jabed)
Jahangir Alam Chowdhury (Jabed) is the main culprit. I believe he has spun a myriad of lies and falsehood with my brother to attempt to stop my plans for charity. So that he can benefit by being part of my late father's estate.   It is why my eldest sister has been foolishly misguided into helping these evil men who I suspect told her lies and falsehoods about me.  But as a solicitor she ought to have spotted it. Checked in with me.  She did not. She broke all laws of feminism and became a marionette who did Jabed's dirty work for him.  

This evil man is on audio tape (with his permission) and can be heard proudly stating that local villagers in my ancestral land who are impoverished or without electricity must never be helped to obtain this basic need.  He needs exposing.  

Jabed was also caught on another audio tape of mine telling me women who are abused or suffer domestic violence should 'stay in the room and pray to Allah'. As 'family shame is everything we all must protect' he said. He needs exposing.  It is why Jabed is being named and shamed as he is father to two daughters, prays namaz wears a beard and his un-Islamic hypocrisy is shocking. 

Coming soon.  There are more siblings and relatives involved here.  Including my two sisters Jasmin Choudhury a deputy head teacher in London at Mulgrave Primary School and Nazrin Choudhury a scriptwriter in Hollywood who have both been giving silent tacit support. 

As well as male relatives who are enablers and choose to stay deliberately silent.  I counted 30. When I have asked them to face the public and come to discuss this online or on video/audio - interestingly they refuse.  

What I want from the above people:

To Nazmin, Nazmul, Enam, Jabed - on the night of Shab -e-Bharat you have the chance to rectify the way you have attempted to shut down and trash my charity Amcariza Foundation.  Due to your actions you have also plans for me to help many poor people jobs and income.  This is unacceptable. 

  1. To stop being criminal thugs. Stop the lies and greed. 
  2. Return my research base as it was asap please on 1 March 2015 and evict the current tenants.
  3. Return my stolen items that were left in the office.
  4. Return my stolen signboards.
  5. For Nazmin Choudhury to stop using her British solicitor status as a means to exert influence - it is embarrassing it does not.  
  6. To explain why Enamul Haque Choudhury is involved and Jahangir Alam Choudhury - when they are outsiders and have no rights or interests in my late father's land.   
  7. Return money and valuable items that was in the Amcariza Foundation office..
  8. Provide apology and compensation to my Amcariza Foundation and volunteers who you all intimidated and threatened. 
  9. Stop threatening witnesses who saw the office get ransacked this includes Rustum Ali (who has since fled) and Saathi whom I know you intimidated.  
  10. Remove the third party tenants you have placed into my office premises.  
  11. Re-erect my charity banner both in Sylhet City and the village which you all tore down. 
How and where these monsters are inflicting HV:

My father left two estates in Bangladesh. 

One in North Ali Nagor, (Chondorpur) Beani Bazaar Bangladesh. Which has a bungalow and many unused derelict fields.  

The other is in Sylhet city - Dershan Dewri near Sunamganj Road in Amberkhana.  Almost 56 Decimals of land purchased solely by my late father has been transferred illegally and fraudulently into the sole name of my brother Nazmul Hassan Choudhury. Bangladesh and Islamic does not allow this as a father's estate upon his death must be shared by his beneficiaries of which these include any daughters. In essence me. 

In 2013 I wrote to my family to report fraud on the estate.  My family who all live in London did nothing. To help rescue the estates in Bangladesh I set about running the estate as a volunteer caretaker. I hired staff and between 2013 and 2015 kept accounts.  This is when the man Jahangir Alam Chowdhury (Jabed), a distant relative urged he would help. As I explained I wanted to start to bring across my British charity's name to run field projects he helped me obtain a trade licence, print a sign banner.  And he did it all for me.  

My mother was made aware of my research base as were my siblings all of whom were sent repeated emails telling them I was unhappy I was left to run an estate which was causing me a burden. As well as taking my time and expense.  Not one sibling replied to me.  I guess it suited them to have someone like me caretake the estate for free - I was being paid no wages.  I continued to work on my charity projects.  All of which was done and shared on social media.  

In March 2105 my British family out of the blue arrived secretly to dismantle my projects.  

In 2015 Nazmul Hassan Choudhury must have seen my little Amcariza sign and gotten jealous and envious.  Despite all my projects being halted and many impoverished people who were due to get help via Lovedesh and Amcariza Foundation - I will prevail. I am tenacious. And this is about standing up for female rights. 

What evidence do I have: 
Coming soon. All my late father's papers, letters and wills. As well as timeline and dateline of all of my letters written to my siblings urging them to hand over my inheritance. Also are witness accounts as well as statements.  

Who did I report it to? 
The local Bangladesh police - alas due to the actions being undertaken by family members they are at a loss at how to help me.  And also grassroots is very slow but there is one man who is trying - more in him to come.  

Who is helping me? 
Bangladesh High Commission to various families in Sylhet Bangladesh. As well as the media in Sylhet and random strangers. 

Why have decided to publically expose my family and talk about HBV? 
Because good people tell me to fight this injustice.  And many are volunteering to help me for free.  In fact some call my family 'monsters' and 'cancerous' hence the title of my blog post.  I do not want our society to keep HBV and violation of female rights taboo.  Also the stigma attached makes it hard for people to know how to help us survivors and how to prevent it.  We are often judged or deemed to be at fault as often people cite the 'there is no smoke without fire'.  This is not true.  

My family have gone too far and out of control. They think their conduct is acceptable.  It is not and by sharing my story and exposing it, I will ensure other women could be helped.  By suffering all these decades their HBV has only gotten more and more worse.  

If I do not step up then who will? If not now - then when? And maybe by exposing this - society will learn more about HBV and be able to spot and prevent it. 

For more info: Visit my podcast MsYiY.com where I will soon be regaling all the information.  

Background 

Photos show my late father , me in the red dress with my siblings and mother
at the SW London restaurant which today is controlled by my only brother 


My Muslim family (seen pictured here above) are proud of being devout and of being second generation British citizens - expect of course when it comes to women empowering themselves. Or when we dare to to object to the abuse inflicted upon us to correct and punish as well as sharing and talking about it with outsiders. For that there are severe consequences.    

I am the founder of start up Lovedesh. Despite working so hard to take this idea to market - to help fund the work being done at the British charity I set up called Amcariza Foundation, being a social entrepreneur and suffering abuse in private has been a nightmare.  I have often attended meetings with my mentors or high profile organisations - with them never realising what went on the night before.  

I have been living like this for many years.  And nobody will help women like me.  Not the Met Police, GP, councillors or local police.  You see people look at me and assume I cannot be a victim of abuse.  But I can.  I am.  

I think it is because I do not match the stereotype of what a victim looks like.  I also know that up against my brother  Nazmul Hassan Choudhury - a married man of two kids - he wears the sly cloak of respectability like a glove.  It is incomprehensible to people that someone like my brother can do the things he does. Which is why at every attempt nobody believes me - despite showing them proof such such societies endorse bad men. 

British Muslim women like me, who dare to speak out or question our elders or the men in our family are forced to suffer horrendous honour abuse.  Delivered at the hands of my modern British Bangladesh family, who by day are professionals spanning the business, education, creative and legal sectors. Behind closed doors though it is a different story - they practice what I call are the dark arts of patrilineal inheritance and honour abuse.  

What does this mean? In essence all assets. money and land belonging to a father - are to be owned and controlled only by his male relatives. If as a woman like me, you dare to be different or question and challenge the rules enshrined and expected of our gender - then you are abandoned, isolated, sneered and verbally/physically attacked.  If you dare ask for your inheritance, irrespective of the fact that my own brother has been controlling all of it  as a woman you are called 'greedy'.

Worst still, if like my impoverished epileptic female relative living in a rural village in Bangladesh she acts 'unseemly', it is deemed acceptable for her to get slapped. And beaten up.   Repeatedly.  By my own British born and educated female relative - my eldest sister.   I know as I saw this happen to her.  And while I tried to stop it back then and failed, it is why i will no longer put and shut up.  Corruption has entered my family fold and its deadly fog has been staining my hands and heart with grief. 

Greed is a funny thing. It is festers. Creeps in through the back door.  I had no idea my family were so corrupt. After all a sign does not appear to say 'Hi, this is greed, I will be hanging around for years now - so pull up a chair and let me show you what you can expect'. No. Greed is an insidious beast. Lurking and wafting whenever there is money to be made or gained. In my case it started when in 2007, I was told by my still newly married brother that a major asset, a restaurant in SW18 with a 3 bedroom flat - which I estimate could be up to £1 million - would never be shared with us his sisters.  You see apparently our father told my brother 'secretly' that this asset 'must never be shared with the girls'- a secret revealed to us three years after my father died for which there is no evidence.  It never occurred to me to challenge him why he was telling me this 3 years after the death of my late father.  Lemming that I was, I just listened and believed it.   I cried but stayed silent. But then my brain started working In 2011 I insisted he do right.  Then I found papers left by my father that said otherwise. in 2013 I found a will in my late father's steel cabinet in Bangladesh that asks that one third I of his estate be donated to help Islam and poor people.  That is what upset me the most.  

Despite asking my family to respect my late father's wishes - nothing was done - I opened a research office with a sign stating this was Amcariza Foundation.  And in 2014 I finally read a UK will written by my late father in which I spotted my name appears.  

I had already woken up in 2012 after spotting a series of disingenuous failures by my brother. But in 2014 I decided I had had enough.   

It is why having discovered my late father's estate abandoned, dotted with fraudulent local staff I stepped up in 2013 - to rescue the city estate.  Despite asking for help from my siblings and mother - there was no reply.  They were content to let me work unpaid to manage the estate until the flew over in April 2015 - saw how well I had managed it and trashed my research base which I had used to run field trials in the village.  

Even though I became an unpaid caretaker - guardian of the family asset - I was last week told on my birthday this sinister message via my eldest sister and my brother in law "tell Yasmin she has no place on this land".

So today, I am singing loud. Proudly to expose the vile conduct of my British family that is backward despite education and British passports 



Photo shows my only brother MBA graduate Nazmul Hassan Choudhury, his ex-BBC producer wife Rima Rouf
and my devout Muslim mother.  All British citizens. 



I decided to go public as there is no other way out. This idea that it is shameful or dishonourable to discuss family with the outside world is wrong.  People must speak out when family turns into an army to oppress, financially exploit, subjugate others - with the consequences that many lives are devastated or impoverished. 

Of course before going public, did I do all I can to raise alarm bells in private?  Yes.  Did I ask my relatives to sort the matter as is custom in my circles?  Yes.  You see to breathe a word to anyone outside of your DNA and ancestral line is deemed to be betrayal.   I counted over 30 relatives spanning UK & bangladesh - who I have approached to ask they help me curb my powerful brother.  I rang, visited and spoke while running my start ups.  The havoc, expense and time spent spans seven years.  I have been been met with silence.  Or a u-turn.   Each has either turned a blind eye or supported the acts of theft and refusal to disperse and break up my late father's estate. If they do manage to attempt to control and curb my brother - I am told pretty soon that it is 'best left as NHC is impossible to handle.' I am then ostracised and left to hear of these same relatives socialising with my brother.  And if I ask why am cut off or deemed to be 'hysterical' or 'greedy' -as the inference is that because I ask my brother to hand over the shares due to his sisters and to charity  - this act of speaking about money is shameful.  Never mind the fact that the men in our family are allowed to pocket it all or enjoy the privileges. 

Then there are the real insidious colluders and betrayers that span across the world.  Men like Jahangir Alam Chowdhury (Javed), a distant cousin who I thought was a good man, and had been someone I could trust, whose website I paid for and created helped set up Cool Engineering BD - was found to have been seeking keys to legal papers that relate to my late father's estate in Bangladesh. Despite being called and asked to leave this matter be as it would be handled by lawyers given that my mother had already transferred a key asset in Bangladesh to the name of my brother after my father died. When I spoke to Javed - for the umpteenth time telling him of the abuse meted out to me, his response was I should 'not bring shame on my family by speaking out' and that any abuse I suffered could be remedied by 'sitting alone in a room, and praying to Allah'.

Physical violence, emotional abuse and financial subjugation is the de rigeur means to banish the 'evil' inside 'divergent' females like me - just like the book trilogy authored by Veronica Roth currently being serialised as Hollywood feature films.  If you dare to opine you are called narcissistic or vain.  

Even the Met Police got involved last year in being convinced that I should be stopped from pursing my inheritance by my MBA graduate brother and his BBC producer wife.  It is why their conduct is now being investigated after it was ordered to do so by the IPCC. 

My brother has been known to attack his female relatives - who ask him to stop misappropriating his late father's wishes. In 2011 an entire room full of people had to pull him off my eldest sister - a woman. While I was not there - hen I was told about it my immediate question to my sister was why it was not reported to the police - she told me she decided not to. The thought would not have occurred to any of the family in this room to protect my eldest sister - it was more about protecting the family name. You see to expose it would have been 'sharam' - shame. My own sister was persuaded to go home after my brother was made to say sorry and beg her forgiveness - I heard there was much tears and crying by witnesses.  This is what my backward family do - as the distress is all centred around preventing shame.  Today this same sister is working with my brother to inflict honour based violence on me.  That is how brainwashed women in my family become.  




Some of the villagers I was helping via Amcariza 

So here I am.  11 years on - as my beloved late father's estate in Bangladesh remains to be allocated to charity and my own shares remain in the hands of my brother - today on March 23, when my father died out in Bangladesh having created his wealth - I sit here alone. The scourge of my entire family because by writing about this online is to bring shame on my family.  

As a Muslim woman, to challenge and speak out (as I am now doing via a (petition on the rights and roles of women in Islam) on why women are denied the inheritance rights afforded to us in Islam is social and familial suicide.  I am doing this and happy to do so.  And it does produce the gift that keeps on giving - constant abuse, violence and threats of eviction has compelled me to reveal this online. 

And so I guess I got so fed up today that I decided to stop hiding and emerge.  So that I can come out and prove to all my business contacts - and mentors that - yes I may suffer from abuse, but if that makes me less of a businesswoman - than you are wrong.   I am a survivor and a fighter.  I will not yield.  Or give up.  I am someone who has prevailed and will continue to do so, in spite of all the years of abuse and it is important to look at what I have achieved as social entrepreneur - when the odds are against me.  I have done so much. Imagine what I can do if I did not have to cope with HBV.  

The abuse I suffered includes being chased out of the house I live in.  Having to sit in cars. To suffering vile threats and screams of name calling and abuse that splits your soul into smithereens. I am often told repeatedly by my own mother how she wishes she had 'ripped me from the womb and strangled me at birth' to being told to 'stick on a headscarf'. I have begged and pleaded for female relatives to help me - but been sent emails that state I have a 'morally dubious' character. 

I am compelled to live with my elderly disabled devout Muslim mother.  She refuses to accept her only son has done wrong . Despite being asked to look at evidence of how he has destroyed the legacy of my father, broken all terms of his will  - in 2015 she still insists that only men should inherit.  I often hear her praying loudly raising her hands to Allah lamenting over judgement day.  But then off the prayer mat she is ready to defy the Qu'ran - along with my brother backed up by armies of devout relatives who turn a blind eye.

The reason why I name these people today is because of hypocrisy.  Their devout preaching of being Muslim - and the fact that they are revered in my Bangladeshi communities as stalwart of respect and authority - is disgusting.  They need exposing. 


As soon as I started to speak out, I suffered abuse, violence and ostracised.  The worrying aspect is that my family are not in Bangladesh. They were born and brought up in UK.  My brother Nazmul Hassan Choudhury is MBA graduated and married to Rima Rouf a BBC producer.  My eldest sister is Nazmin Choudhury a British solicitor who runs a high street local firm in London SW18.  My own twin sister Jasmin Choudhury is a deputy head at a primary school in London.  While my youngest sister is BAFTA member and a scriptwriter in Hollywood. 

You would think that by 2014 - this entire 'modern' appearing family would sit down to resolve the matter of abuse and inheritance.  My family chose not to reply to all my letters (almost 30 pieces of correspondence) asking that we sit down.  They refused to help me, a woman who since this sorry saga started has been pleading with each of them to do 'the right thing'.  I even asked for a meeting even in April 2015 - this was ignored. Alas it fell on deaf ears. They stayed silent - despite being informed of the abuse meted out to me by my own mother, brother and his wife - so much so that in the past few years the Police have been called at least 4 times. 

This is a sad, macabre twist in a saga that involves my immediate family members who over decades have in private meted out vile, honour abuse because of the choices i made in my personal life.  

I will change this thinking. Step by step. 

Thanks for reading

Yasmin C. 

xxx


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